


No, Cassian, Just... No

by dcrthkenobi (galakticfinn)



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 18:11:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9283874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galakticfinn/pseuds/dcrthkenobi
Summary: As Headboy at Hogwarts, Bodhi is tasked with the duty of giving half the student population a lesson about safe sex. Cassian isn't really making this job easy for him, since Cassian keeps asking questions to purposefully embarrass Bodhi.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this prompt:
> 
> i am headboy/headgirl, and i’ve been asked to give a presentation on safe sexual practices, and you will not stop asking me uncomfortable questions to embarrass me, please stop, i know you know the answer to that, we did it last night

Bodhi watched apprehensively has the all of the fifth, sixth, and seventh years filed into the classroom. This wasn’t going to end well, Bodhi just knew it. This was going to be an absolute _fucking_ disaster.

“I can’t believe she’s making me do this.” Bodhi whined to Cassian. _Again_. He’d been complaining about having been delegated the task of giving a lesson on _safe sex_ to almost have of the student population.

“But, Mister Rook, you’re such an excellent role model. The students look up to you and, as Headboy, it is your _duty_ to ensure the safety of your fellow students.” Cassian said in an uncanny impression of Professor McGonagall.

“I hate you.”

Cassian smirked at Bodhi. “Really? That’s not what you were saying when my mouth was around you and I was three fingers deep in –“

“ _Cassian!”_ Bodhi gave his boyfriend a playful, exasperated shove. Even though no one could have overheard them, Bodhi could feel the heat rising in his cheeks. “Go sit down.”

Cassian gave a shrugged and went to join his fellow Gryffindor seventh years.

Bodhi had a _very_ bad feeling about. He just knew it. He loved his boyfriend, but Cassian really could be a little _shit_ and Cassian was now lounging against a desk with a mischievous grin. Cassian waved his fingers innocently when he saw Bodhi looking at him.

Bodhi took a deep breath and cleared his throat awkwardly once everyone had sat down. “Alright, so, um today… we’re gonna be talking about safe sexual practices.” Bodhi nearly patted himself on the back for managing to get that sentence out.

“Do we _have_ to?” a voice said, Bodhi recognized that voice as Jyn Erso.

Bodhi rubbed the back of his neck and looked up at the ceiling. “Unfortunately,” he muttered to himself. He looked back at the crowd of students. “This is a very important topic. We’re all at an age now where we _might_ want to… _engage_ in sexual activities with someone else. And there’s nothing wrong with doing that, but you need to make sure that you practice safe sex.” Bodhi couldn’t believe he managed to get all of that out without blushing.

“Like using c-condoms.” _Shit_ he just _had_ to stutter over the word condom. He could see several people stifling laughs – his fellow Ravenclaws were looking at him with pity. “Or using den-dent- _dental dams_.” Bodhi nearly groaned to himself, he was acting so awkward right now.

“What’s a dental dam?” Leia Organa asked.

Bodhi blinked. _Shit_. He didn’t think about needing to answer that question. Then he realized that she was sitting next to Cassian and the two of them were trying not to laugh. _Cassian had put Leia up to that?_ And now he _had_ to answer the question.

“It’s, um, it’s like um.” Bodhi paused, he really hated being Headboy. This was the _worst_  Headboy duty _ever_. “You use it to protect yourself or your partner during oral sex… so that there’s less risk of sharing STDs.”

Cassian raised his hand.

Bodhi groaned, but he technically couldn’t ignore Cassian’s _question_. “Cassian?”

“Yeah, um, what if you put your mouth down _there_ without using a condom?” Cassian asked, adopting an air of innocence - as if he had _never_  had his mouth around Bohdi’s... “You’re saying that you can get STDs?”

Bodhi cheeks grew hot. Cassian was looking at him with dark, suggestive eyes – making him think about last night when Cassian had _done exactly that_. He shifted awkwardly. Now was _not_ the time to think about Cassian’s (very, _very_ ) talented mouth.

“Uh, yeah. I mean… it could happen?” Bodhi _really_ wished he didn’t have to do this right now. “But I mean, if you’re both clean – “ Bodhi cut himself off. “I mean, just use a condom… okay?”

Bodhi took a deep breath. Where had he been?

Cassian raised his hand again.

 _“What. Cassian.”_ Bodhi hissed between clenched teeth.

“Um, yeah. How does sex between –“

“Don’t even _think_ about finishing that question, Cassian.” Bodhi said, cutting him off. “You know as well as I do, that you know how sex works since we’ve had –“ Bodhi stopped suddenly, eyes wide as he just realized what he said.

It was no secret that he and Cassian were dating – let’s be real, they were basically everyone’s relationship goal – but now _everyone_ was going to know that they were… that they had… that…

“I think that’s enough for today.” Bodhi blurted out.

He tried to preserve the rest of his dignity by _not_ sprinting out of the room – despite how much he _really_ wanted to.


End file.
